


Baby Join Me In This

by Emberglade



Category: Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Near Death Experiences, Organized Crime, Other, Reader is dying when they're found, Sick Character, Sort Of, Starvation, Tags to be added, is it crime if it's legal but immoral as fuck??, sort of suicide attempt but not really, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-01 11:09:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18799162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emberglade/pseuds/Emberglade
Summary: You were found, spit on your lips, with your back curved toward the sky and your head in between you knees. You looked so cold, huddled in the snow, that he had to get a closer look. He just had to.





	1. How do you feel?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you are found and you are guilty

_Cold. All you can remember is the cold. Biting at your knees, your elbows, your nose. Seeping it's way deep into your pores._

You coughed something fierce into the blanket bundled under your chin, trying to decipher what plane of existance you'd just popped into. You were warm, though your lungs felt like they were filled with stones, so that was a start. You knew you were somewhere warm. There was a rustling beside you, then the back of a hand on your forehead. A noncommittal hum rose above you, and the hand was removed. The clanking of metal, and then you were pushed up, a cold cup edge pressed to your lips. You drank automatically. Shivering, you were eased back into the blanket after a few heft gulps left the cup empty. You felt yourself slip back into sleep.

_Shouting, loud, but not concerned. The crunching of shoes in the snow. You tried to scream, but nothing came out. Your vision spotted, your body heaved for something to cling to. You curled deeper into yourself. Hands, oh so warm, gripped your shoulders. "Oh- my goodness..." Shock, disturbance. "Are- Are you okay?"_

_You coughed your lungs up into your hands. The palms on you wouldn't leave. In fact, they began to pull you up. The second you were vertical once more, your mind dipped out of reality, leaving your body to crunch into the unforgiving snow._

* * *

 

Snufkin watched you rest in the nest of blankets he'd managed to create. Your face was red, burning with sickness, and he worried the extra blankets were overheating you. Regardless, he kept them on. Every time he took them off you cried out and shook for hours. It was too similar to how he'd found you. 

You'd been buried in the snow, shaking from head to toe. Your scarce clothing left you a stark mark on the white snow, flushed skin shouting over the white. The simple brown cloak did nothing to keep the slush from soaking you recklessly. Your stick thin limbs barely left and indent in the ground, your very bones shoving into the ice. Snufkin had been looking for a place to set up a tent for the night when he'd found you. And one couldn't just leave you there, coughing and whimpering into the ground. He hummed as he set the cup down and looked for the cloth he'd been using to wipe the sweat from your forehead. He wanted you to wake up sooner, if only to get some food in you.

Moomintroll had once been ill. So ill he couldn't leave the bed, apparently. But Snufkin had missed out on this small occurrence, supposedly due to his own absence, and thus maybe he felt like it was his duty to aid in your sickness. But he was convinced he was doing this out of the good of his heart. 

You rolled onto your side, coughing into your hand. Your eyes cracked open, reluctant. 

* * *

 

He was holding a cloth when you came too. His coat hung loose around him, and a hat tipped over most of his face when he looked down. When you coughed, his head snapped up, and your eyes shut before you could look at his face. You pulled your eyes open again. Through your sickened daze, fogging the world around you, you could see that you were in some sort of tent made of a thick, heavy cloth. A fire hissed outside. Your savior, or captor, watched you with heavy eyes. His nose hung thick on his face, red and heavy, and his eyes were a dark brown, like crystallized honeycomb. He smiled as you watched him, crouching on the ground next to you to swipe the sweat dripping down your face. "You're awake."

His voice was so kind.

You leaned in to the touch. You decided to test your voice. "Yeah." it garbled and cracked, but it was there. Good to know the sickness hadn't stolen it from you. He hummed, setting the cloth on the ground beside you. 

"How do you feel?"

You surged to sense your body. It felt very not great. You relayed this to him

"Figures," he says, standing and turning to rattle things in his bag. "I found you in the snow struggling to breathe. Dropped like a rag-doll when I got you to stand." he walked out of the tent with a bowl in his hands, and came back with something steaming. He sat on the group beside you, cross legged, and handed it to you. You sat up, brain filled with dandelions, and took the warmth from him. A strange, purple substance steamed in your face, and you inspected it with scrutiny. 

"What-" you coughed. "What in god's name is this?" you could feel the phlegm in your throat. 

He laughed, a joyous sound that bubbled in his lower chest. "Berry soup. I learned it from an old friend. Though, I had to use water..." he hummed. "There are incredible winter berries growing around here, perfect for souping. Try it." You looked at him over the lid of the bowl as you drank. The substance was thick and sweet, like a syrup, with a warm tartness that stroked your aching throat. Without thinking, you finished the bowl in a few swift gulps. Instantly, your stomach screeched in a mix of joy and agony. You handed him the bowl, embarrassed.

He laughed again. "Better?" you nodded.

"So..." his tone changed, shifting to a slight timber. "What were you doing in the woods like that?"

You weighed your options. The obvious one was to tell the truth, the easy one was to lie. You went the dishonest route. "I don't remember."

He looked at you for a long time, and suddenly it occurred to you. "Wait! I don't know your name!"

"Nor I yours." he smiled. He thrust his hand out. "Snufkin."

You took it. The fake name slid off your tongue as if it had belonged to you all your life. "Jor." A swift handshake, and it was over.

Snufkin turned and pulled something from underneath his bag. A sleeping bag. He rolled it out some distance away from you, close enough to kick if need be but far enough to give you space. "Get some more rest. You need it."

You didn't fall asleep until the birds were calling your name into the wind and the sun was rising from it's own slumber.

* * *

It had been three day's of sleeping in Snufkin's tent and eating his soup, and you were starting to feel okay. When you had to use the bathroom, he would help you sickly stumble to some bushes, and then he would look away from you, screeching into his harmonica to keep creatures at bay. When you were hungry, he made soup, even though you never asked for it. When you were thirsty he gave you water, and he kept you company. You were starting to feel bad, crowding this kind man so much. 

He told you tales of the Moomins and their valley, of his sister and the monster's they'd encountered and how he was returning to his family in the spring. It only dawned on you on that third day how close spring was.

"Snufkin?" he was picking charred sticks out of the glimmering snow, looking for one's satisfactory for his friend the Snork, who would use their charcoal to draw brilliant scientific designs. 

"Yes?" 

"Do you need to return to Moominvalley soon?"

He hummed, looking to the North. "I suppose I would be on my way back by now, yes. Why?"

You pulled your knees up to your chest. "I'm almost better. You could go now."

Snufkin tapped his chin. "I suppose. But I'd like to make sure you're better and that you stay better. Maybe we could head to your home?" he tied the charcoal into a swift bundle and tucked it in a handkerchief that found it's way into his pocket. You poked the snow, afraid to speak.

"Oh." he turned to sit facing you, only a few feet of cold separating you two.

"You don't have one or..." you shrugged. "You can't go back." he nodded. "Well, Jor, you could always come with me. The Moomins have so much room with them, they love guests!" he clasped his hands together.

You shook your head. "No, it's not that. It's just..."

"What?"

You swallowed the rocks in your throat. "I didn't want to wake up from the snow."

 


	2. I don't like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Snufkin plays guitar and you leave

"You didn't..." he trailed off, eyebrows furrowed. The wind picked up and sent an icy, bone soaking chill between you two. You felt the conversation sour to unimaginable levels.

You shrugged noncommittally, picking at the fuzz that pilled over the dark yellow cloak he had lent you. It was warm. You nestled deeper into the rough fabric, not making eye contact. If you didn't make eye contact, you didn't have to acknowledge that you had said something weird. Entirely true, and weird.

"So you do remember." You stood up, turning from him to pull something from the tent. Fuck this. Fuck you. Fuck your failure at social efficacy. Your feet crunched loudly and viciously in the snow as you returned.

"Play me a song." You threw his guitar into his hands. Snufkin caught it, though he was knocked slightly over. What a twig.

"But- Jor, this isn't something I can just-" you sat down next to him with an air of finality that cut him off. He looked at you for a moment, and you stared back, before he looked down to his guitar, strumming a few strings experimentally. "What would you like to hear?" His voice was a mere whisper. You didn't look too much into it.

"Anything." He hummed, picking out a melody in his head before transferring it to the strings. You watched him, his eyes closed and lips pursed, as the music came to him. How he did it you had no idea. Where you'd come from, music wasn't very popular. No one listened or played it anymore. So to hear such magical patterns formed into songs, it really blew you off your feet. You wrapped your arms around your knees, head tilted to the side.

Light gusts of wind blew tresses of hair over his face, and his lips mouthed the words to a song in a language you couldn't understand. You realized in this stark moment that you knew as little about him as he knew about you. All you knew of this traveler was about his friends. And all he knew about you was you had nearly died.

You still felt like you were dying.

But you don't think about it.

You looked away, staring into the horizon. They would be catching up with you soon. You really needed to get moving, despite the warmth and comfort of this stranger. You needed to stay away from him, to keep him safe. But how do you get away? He seemed insistent on staying with you until he deemed you safe, and you really weren't going to be safe anytime soon.

The music stopped. You both sat, watching the glittering world below you quietly persist. Small creatures hopped around the snow, birds tittered in the trees, and a smooth wind caressed the landscape. Yet your inner life was so fixated on something, so busy, you weren't really seeing it. Your bones hurt, your head still spun every time you rose, and your body clawed at you from the inside out. You were no stranger to hunger. But you had never felt this before. It's not like you didn't notice the way he watched you, with a fear in his eyes insurmountable. You just bit your tongue and moved along. 

"What are you thinking about, friend?"

You hummed. "How I need to get going." Another not-lie. How many not-lies will you be telling before they become truths? You needed to know so you could leave before it happened.

Snufkin grimaced. You could feel it. "I don't want you going off by yourself. Let me take you home."

You stayed silent. "Or, just come with me. It'll be so much better for you. Please?" You shook your head.

"I can't. I'm sorry, really, but we need to go our separate ways." you pushed up from the snow, shaking it from your coat.

* * *

 

Snufkin watched you leave, his eyes tracing the jagged edges of your body. He sighed. If he knew you would've been stubborn like that, he would have left you in the cold. He huffed, standing and following you into the tent. 

"What are you going to do?" He mumbled, busying himself with his bag. He didn't want to look at you, or feel any of the feelings he was, really. Frustration, pity, concern. 

You ignored him only briefly. But one can only stay silent for so long. He knew that from experience. "Find somewhere new." 

He frowned. Moominvalley was new. And safe! What were you running from? He didn't push it. He did, however, turn to watch you erase yourself from his tent. Folding up blankets, wiping down cups, packing up every instance of your presence. Your lips pressed in a thin line, your eyes vacant. He wanted to reach out then. To stop your hands from working and to hold your arms still until you let out whatever you had bottled down and compressed. Whatever you turned into work. In the past three days he had watched you convert all your words into a kinetic energy that shot from your fingers. Plucking pine cones, ripping up dead grass, making tea. You never stopped. It was terrifying.

* * *

 

You looked around for the cloak you had arrived in. It wasn't folded or tucked anywhere. You frowned, displeased. You needed that, otherwise you'd be romping around naked. Snufkin needed his own clothing back.

"What did you do with my coat?" You turned to him, looking at his nose to avoid staring into the void of his eyes. He snorted. 

"You mean your  _bed sheet?_ Jor that thing could barely cover my arm, let alone warm it."

You grumbled. "Doesn't matter. Where is it?"

"I threw it out."

"You  _what?"_ You bit your lip, trying to think. "But I need clothes, dumbass!"

"Please-" Snufkin stopped himself from correcting your language. "I uh- I thought it was implied you could keep mine?" 

"Oh."

"Yeah..."

There was an awkward, heavy pause, where you stared at the opening in the tent and he stared at you. "Well." you hissed. "If that's all..." You motioned to the flap in the tent.

Snufkin frowned. "I don't like this."

You shrugged. "That sucks. I gotta go." You moved to leave. A hand on your shoulder pulled you in without warning into a one armed hug. 

You held your breath, patting his back in as consoling of a manner as you could muster. He breathed into your shoulder, the other arm joining the first around your neck. You placed your hands stiffly on his sides. Prepared to run in a seconds notice.

"Will I see you again?" he whispered. You felt confused. Melancholic. Disappointed. You felt a tug in your gut.

"I don't make promises." And with that, as soon as you crawled into Snufkin's life, you stumbled out, a whisper of guilt licking at your ankles as you left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeeee haw it's shorter than I wanted but idgaf yo  
> (just kidding I do,, so much,,,,,)


	3. Who's going to protect you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Snufkin finds you and you get caught

_ "You don't belong here." _

_ "Where the hell am I supposed to go?" You threw your arms out, angry, the wooden handle of the knife digging into your palm. "What do you want me to do, if you don't want me here?" _

_ "It's not that I don't want you, it's that you don't belong with us! I can't control whatever's wrong with you!" You grit your teeth.  _

_ "I always knew you were a cold blooded bitch." You grabbed your coat from where it hang by the modest door, cramming the knife in one of the pockets. "See you in hell." Tears bit at your eyes, threatening to expose the softer part of your insides that your mother had just torn into. Wind gushed in from the outside, blowing your coat out behind you. You were almost sure you heard a soft 'I'm sorry', but you were already gone. _

You lay awake, staring at the stars. The snow had begun to melt, and your journey to the sea was taking you longer than expected. The wet ground soaked into your backside, and you relished the sensation. Soon, you'd be safe. You closed you eyes, feeling the chill run over you. For now, no one had caught up with you. No one knew where you were. 

Practically invisible. How orgasmic, the idea of it all! You sighed happily. 

It had been about two weeks since you'd left Snufkin. And while you thought about him every day, you were glad you left. He was getting close, and your enemies were getting even closer. 

The forest rustled in a peaceful ambiance, the crunching of leaves sparse mixed in with the sounds of tittering birds and howling night monsters. You turned to watch the darkness blankly. Dark green leaves smeared over blackness. You sat up. The crunching was louder. You had started a fire, and now it burned and popped with excitement.

You weren't paranoid, you swore to yourself. Just cautious. You stood then, dusting the grass off of your knees. The fire you had started hissed louder, almost excited. Your fingers flexed by your sides. 

A shadow dipped between two trees, and without a thought, your threw your arm out in a straight line, flexing your fingers as far as you could, until the tendons were jutting out. The fire responded happily, dancing from the pit to your back and down your hand, spitting into the dark like a beam of light from a lighthouse. Your fingers twitched with unease, but you only responded by encouraging the blaze deeper into the thicket.

As the flames spittled out into nothing but smoke, you walked through the path in the snow the blaze had made. Wet mud squished under your boots. Trees groaned in agony, smoldering but, due to the late humidity, not burning. The dark form was huddled under a bush, silent and shaking. At the approach of your footsteps, it bolted, and you grabbed at it, catching it's sleeve in your hand.  _Humanoid._

The darkness spun around. In the black of night, you could barely make out Snufkin's face. Horrified. You dropped his arm, and the two of you stood there, staring at each other while the woods smoked around you. You felt so many things crawl to the surface then.

"What the hell are you doing here?" it was a whisper, a hiss that leaked from your throat.

"What the hell was that?" he retorted, arms wrapped around his body. His back was lightly singed, his eyes wild. You could have killed him. Shame crawled up your throat and came out in a knee-jerk apology. 

But you smoothed over it. "This isn't the south. Why are you here?"

Snufkin looked down, almost ashamed.

"You were following me." it dawned on you hotly, and you spun away from him. You returned to your fire, killing it with a swipe of your cloak. He came closer, words tumbling from his mouth. "Don't." Your turned back to him, angry. He should know to stay away from you, he should know you aren't safe. He should have fucking listened to you. "You will get hurt. You will die, if you keep following me like this. So don't. Go back to fucking La La Land where everything is great and cheerful! For fuck's sake, don't you listen?" You pressed your hands into your face, your cheeks hot and eyes wet. 

"Jor." You looked at him. "You're being followed."

"No shit."

"By someone else." he gripped the brim of his hat in his hands. His eyes were filled with a soft kind of worry. Gross. You bent over to pick up a stick from the pile of charred timber, not looking at him. 

"I know."

"Jor?"

"Yes?"

"Why are those dogs following you?"

You drew lines on your palm with the charcoal. "I got away from them once. They don't want it to happen again."

He couched next to you, touching your palm. You stopped drawing, watching his fingers trace up and down yours, smearing the charcoal. "Is it because of... that?" You nodded, pulling your hand away. The two of you sat.

"Are they going to kill you?"

You shrugged. Who knows. Not you.

"You need to go, Snufkin. Get away from here. Away from me. If they catch you-"

"If they catch you, who's going to protect you?" You scoffed.

"I can protect myself." 

"Then why did you almost die in the snow?" Snufkin stood, dropping his bag on the ground. He pulled out his sleeping bag and unrolled it, before pulling a blanket from his bag and tossing it to you.

"Because I **was** protecting myself." You wrapped the blanket around yourself, resignedly.

"How so?"

"If they think I'm dead, they leave me alone." 

There was a long silence after that, both of you looking out into the darkness, until sleep possessed your bodies.

* * *

 

You woke up to a pressure on your chest, probably the source of your struggle to breathe. You peeled your eyes open, wheezing. 

A large, beast-like dog sat upon your chest. His tawny fur was matted and greasy, in mere clumps, and a sort of blackness oozed from his jaws. it dripped onto your neck. His face was mere inches from yours. " _Good morning, sunshine~._ " he rumbled in as sing-songy of a voice as he could force while whispering. You felt your breathing stop altogether. You tossed your head to the side. Snufkin lay in his bag, hat by his side and chest rising and falling normally.

"What the  _fuck_ do you want, Tanner?" you hissed back. A soft bark came from above you, but considering your current predicament, you couldn't look back to see what caused it. You realized they probably had you surrounded.

Enormous jaws opened to reveal proportionally enormous teeth. "We've gotta take you back to boss, Sweetheart."

"I'm not your fucking sweetheart."

He chuckled, pressing his paws into your throat. "Oh no, but I know what will be sweet. Your flesh when Boss let's me rip you limb by pretty little limb."

"Why wait so long to catch me?" You managed to wheeze, ignoring his gruesome imagery.

"We wanted to see you do it again." He hummed. You cursed. 

"I could burn you up right now. Set your greasy ass aflame like  _that._ " he barked again, forcing a few more chorty yelps to emerge from around you. Snufkin stirred.

"I dare you." his rotting breath rolled over you in waves, bringing a heave to your body. You turned away. Slowly, you felt his paws elongate, his mass grow. Soon the claws digging into your throat became nails, and greasy fur was replaced with clammy palms. "C'mon boys, we have a few bad apples to throw out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pleased with this one, I think ^^


	4. You Aren't Any Better Than Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you're sorry and Snufkin almost learns things he can't

The clinking of chains, the cold wind on his back, and the jostling of his body. Snufkin wasn't sure what exactly woke him up. A hard mass jostled beneath him, stands of fur licking his face. He breathed in, and immediately regretted it. Whatever that smell was, it was practically rotting. He gagged.

He breathed in through his mouth and out his nose, eyes darting around. He could see out of the one eye not pressed into the matted fur of his steed, but it didn't provide much. All the traveler could see was the dirt beneath him. He frowned. His arms were tied together around the beast, meaning he couldn't use his hands, and his legs were fastened in a similar fashion. Panic swallowed his lungs. What about Jor? What was happening? Were these the creatures that were following you all this time?

Growls and yips emitted around him, surely his captors interacting, and he cursed his inability to understand them. In the dying of their yips came a sullen voice. His pulse quickened. Jor! There they were!

"What're you going to do with him?" a yelp emitted from them as chains were yanked. 

"Whatever Boss wants, Freak. Shut up." Snufkin bit his inner cheek. What a massive jerk. He swallowed the urge to call out to you, squeezing his eye shut. 

* * *

 

You trudged along begrudgingly, eyes downcast and hair falling across your forehead. Motherfuckers. Not only were they taking you, but Snufkin too. This is why you told him to stay the fuck away from you. You followed your captors with heavy reluctance, the dust talcumed across your boots. Hot sun burned into your cloak, but you refused to take it off.

Your arms were bound by Tanner himself, chains attached to you like a leash. You weren't even the fucking dog.

They communicated through yelps and barks, a language you weren't particularly well versed in. You understood two things. 

1) You were going home. Fan - fucking - tastic.

2) Snufkin was going with you.

You swallowed your guilt. This was the least ideal scenario you could have ever imagined in the history of existence. Literally. 

You trekked through the day, head bowed. Snufkin lay strapped to a lesser Wereclaw, silent the entire time. You knew he was awake, due to the whispers he sent your way and the glossy stare he often sent to the ground. You wished you could tell him you were sorry, tenfold, but you couldn't. Not with Tanner right there.

When night fell, they didn't stop. You had to shuffle through the cold, straining to cut through the shadows with you vision. Curse these fucking dogs and their night vision. It was only when the moon was about to set that they stopped. Exhaustion ground through your joints and you found your head lolling to the side from sleepiness. 

Tanner pushed you down with his foot, knocking you onto your knees. You practically wept from the relief. A hard mass hit the ground next to you, and you reached out to squeeze Snufkin's arm. He patted your hand in consolance and rolled over to face you, smiling softly.

Two wereclaws sat on either side of you. The two of you sat as the group moved around you in harmony.  Someone struck a fire, and your fingers itched to stroke the flames. But you knew that these were not your flames, and they wouldn't obey you the way you needed them to. You watched the fire burn, holding Snufkin's hand.

He sat up next to you, grunting. You reached out to help him up. He smiled at you in pain.

You scooched closer, the cold ground seeping into your legs. "I'm sorry." the whisper was hoarse from your underused voice. Snufkin squeezed your hand.

"It's not your fault." You frowned. 

It totally was.

A grunt game from above the two of you. You looked up. Standing above you, a disgruntled looking kid stood with to bundles of sopping cloth in his hands. His hair was tousled and red, an angry mess. His eyes were sharp, blue. He looked scared, yet determined to remain angry. You wondered what this child was doing among all these monsters. He dropped the cheesecloth bundles in front of you. One fell open, the slab of meat inside falling dusty. You instinctively grabbed the dirtied meat. The child stood there, making your guards antsy. He watched you and Snufkin with wide eyes.

"Thank you." he looked affronted, jumping at Snufkin's response. You looked to your companion, who held the meat in his hands. You felt your own food. It was still warm.

The child nodded, running off. 

You wiped the grime from your food, tearing in animalistically. Who knew when they would next feed you? Snufkin nibbled at his, tearing off piece by piece. When you finished, you wiped your face with the cloth and pocketed it. Who knew when it could come in handy. Snufkin watched you with sad eyes, and you ignored him.

Boots crunched on the forest floor. You looked up. Tanner crouched in front of you two, his eyes gleaming. Your stomach coiled. "Darling. Lovely to see you so  _firey_ again. Boss'll be pleased." Snufkin stiffened, and you touched his shoulder. "And look at this! You've made a friend. How  _cute._ " He gripped your cheeks in his dirt stained, meaty fingers. "You've lost weight. How sad." He tsked. "We need to fatten you up a bit for certain. I don't like  _lean meat._ "

With every annoying emphasis of his words, the urge to punch his stupid yellow teeth festered inside your stomach at higher and higher levels. Snufkin gripped your arm. 

"How much longer until we reach town?" you hissed.

"Less than half a day. You work hard baby, but Boss works harder. We've had you cornered for weeks."

"Why didn't you grab me when I was sick? Dying?"

"Like I said. I don't like lean meat."

You scoffed.

Tanner turned to Snufkin, and you suddenly felt horribly territorial. "So... Does your loverboy know all about you?" you swallowed the acid in your mouth. 

"I don't know what you mean." came your reply. Snufkin looked between you two, eyebrows pulled together. You couldn't even imagine what he was thinking.

"Oh you know. Your disgusting abilities. All the things you've done," he leaned in close to Snufkin's face, a dreamy haze in his dark eyes. "The people you've killed."

You felt tears well in your eyes. You knew this would happen. "I did what I had to. Get of your fucking high horse."

"Oh I'm not saying I'm any better than you. Only that you aren't any better than me." Tears dripped down your cheeks. Snufkin moved to wipe one away. 

"Shh, Jor..."

Tanner barked out a laugh, startling the buzzing out of the wereclaws around your small party. "Jor! I haven't heard that one in a while!" Panic surged you. Snufkin couldn't know your name, never ever. You felt more tears drip onto your hands. You were trapped. Defeated. Pathetic. You wished, suddenly more than ever, for your own death.

Yet exhaustion pulled at your shoulders. "Can we please just go to sleep now?" Tanner shrugged. 

"That's why we stopped. Orion!" the small child from earlier scuttled froward from by the fire pit. A new cut adorned his cheek, and you frowned. He stood, attentive to Tanner. "Sleep with them tonight. I'm tired of babysitting you."

The child nodded diligently and sat on the ground behind you and Snufkin.

"Goodnight, baby. Sweet dreams." Tanner stood and walked away, bulky body swaying angrily. You bit your tongue.

Snufkin lay on his back suddenly, pulling his hand away. You curled up by his side, watching his face as he stared at the sky. The child curled up like a dog ways away from you. 

"Snufkin?"

"Mm?"

"I'll get us out. I promise."


	5. Soap is a fucking essential

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you get away and take a bath

You were starting to get sick of walking. Usually, it was your favorite activity. Any ability to escape from your current condition was well loved and adored by you. Walking brought a peace deep into your bones that, before half-age, you didn't know existed. Discovering it was like man discovering fire. The way the earth slid under your feet, the way the dusty scent of moss ingrained itself into your clothes. All of it made you want to cry with excitement.

But this- this was getting unbearable. Your soles were cracked and dry, your ankles wept from the stress of all this movement, and your lungs could barely muster the strength to inhale and exhale. When Tanner said half a day, you had no idea he meant the  **whole** half.

Snufkin shuffled beside you, head dipped to keep out the screaming sun. You two were no longer chained, though it wasn't very beneficial considering you were flanked by two morphed wereclaws. Your shoulders brushed.

Orion trailed behind you two much like a comet, big pleading eyes attempting to erase any suspicions you had of him. He was just a fucking kid, but you never knew who was on your side and who wasn't. Especially among a crowd like this. He was particularly enamored with Snufkin, and it's not that you couldn't see why, but you could tell it was getting on your companion's nerves.

Dawn was falling over the woods. The guards had let you pause to drink, and you didn't hesitate to drop to your knees and quench the ache that ripped at your esophagus. You hummed happily, lifting your head from the gleaming expanse of the lake. You felt the water dribbling down your chin as your fingers clenched the grass below you. Snufkin crouched beside you, lifting pools barely off the surface to his face with cupped hands.

Tanner nudged you in the ass with his bare foot. "Up. C'mon. We're close." You stood, offering your hand to Snufkin and helping him up. 

The village came into sight easily. Just the creak of those old, wooden fortress walls made your throat close up with a paralyzing fear. The smell of old cedar, the sound of hooves and claws on gravel. The grunt of wereclaws. You felt nausea mount in your stomach, a dizzying blooming in your head and numbing your hands. You were young again, trapped between bars. You were tripping over yourself to get away. You were hiding in your mother's mildewed and rotting kitchen cupboards. You were feigning sleep in the back of a bumpy cart, hiding under potato sacks and loose sheets. 

You felt acid tear at your throat. Swaying, you leaned on Snufkin with no warning for support. He gripped your shoulder possessively, which you felt a surge of gratefulness for. You closed your eyes and tuned out Tanner talking to the guards at the gate, instead breathing in Snufkin's soft tobacco-and-mulch aroma.  _In and out, in and out. One step at a time._ You surged your feet forward with the party, eyes squeezed shut. The less you saw of home, the better.

Only after the swimming stopped did you open your eyes. And then it started back up all over again.

The stone paved streets, the gravel turned up under your feet, the glances of less than friendly shopkeeps. It all scrambled up your neck angrily. You leaned closer into Snufkin, most likely to the chagrin of Tanner. 

"Darling!"

You felt your body lock up.

Oh god no.

* * *

 

You passed out. Of course.

You woke up on the vapid jail cell floor that you had grown to love as a child. If you searched hard enough, you could find your tiny hand prints ingrained on the concrete. 

Your head was pounding, and an acrid tang slicked your tongue. You groaned, sitting up. Everything hurt.

"Jor." You turned to the voice. Snufkin sat, leaning against the wall, his eyes wide in the dim light. His hands rested between his legs and his knees were pulled up to his chest. You crawled over and leaned against the wall. 

"What happened?"

"You fainted... again." You chuckled. He pressed a hand to your knee. "You feeling okay?"

You shrugged. "As good as I can. This place gives me the heebie jeebies..." You pressed a clammy palm to your forehead. 

"Then we need to get out of here asap."

"What did he say?"

"Who?"

"Boss. I can't remember what he said."

Snufkin went silent, staring at the parallel wall with a furrowed brow. You nudged him. "He said he was excited to use you again." You heart fell to your stomach.

"No." you stood up, ignoring Snufkin's cry of protest and your swimming gut. "No no no we are getting  **out. Now.** " You moved to the bars, patting yourself down for anything metal. You hissed. They cleaned you good while you were out. Not a speck of metal or wood on you. 

You spun to your partner, who's eyes were filled with a soft worry. "Jor-"

"Your belt! Take it off- now!" You held out your hand.

Snufkin made a face, and you flushed. "No, asshole! I need the buckle! Give it to me!"

He hurriedly handed you the utility, holding up his loosened trousers. You held the buckle against the steel bars, struggling to force enough friction for a spark or even heat. You had no idea what metal the belt buckle was, but it had a sharp point and the steel of the bars was all you had to work with. Snufkin watched with concerned eyes, unsure of weather or not he wanted to reach out to you. You ignored him.

Suddenly, a spark licked your fingers. It spittled out quickly, but renewed your fervor. You worked faster, capturing sparks in your fingers. They danced along you palm and settling in little pocks of light. You smiled. Soft, nimble, and swift. You pulled out the cloth from the night before. Perfect. 

The sparks ate the cloth excitedly, swallowing it whole. You let the flames dance in your palm, dropping Snufkin's belt altogether. You turned to him. "Alright, step aside." He shuffled, watching you almost apathetically. Yet, something danced in his eyes. You placed the flames on the wooden slab they called a bed, listening to their deafening song. Gorgeous. They consumed the rotting wood in minutes, eating it away. You scooped some up.

"Make a ruckus."

Snufkin grinned, something so innately catlike you felt your heart soar. What a fucking monster. He whooped and hollered, clanging on the bars of the jail. "Hey! Help! They're eating me alive!" he screamed and clawed at the floor with his sharp, pointed fingers. You cradled the blazes in your arms. 

Loud thumping of feet on stairs, and then the guards were in front of the door. "Stop that! Both of you! If you wake up-" one of them was knocked out by a mouthful of flames. You felt your heart thump heavy and happy in your chest, like a bird. The other guard scrambled over the first, his sweaty form laced with panic. He yelped as the flames crawled up his ankles to his head, eating him alive. You smiled. Murder was so much more fun when they deserved it. You reached for the pant leg of the first gaurd, pulling him close. His keys jangled on his hip. How stereotypical. You yanked the keys from his waist, unlocking the door from the inside. The flames crawled from the bed to your arm, still singing. You pulled Snufkin along, who was examining the guard with a puzzled face.

You leapt up the stairs two at a time, bursting into the station grinning maniacally. The exhilaration of freedom was enticing. Snufkin followed you out, holding his hat, and the two of you dipped into the night

* * *

You broke the borders of town by evening, slipping through back alleys and abandoned buildings. The town and you melted into one, your flames slipping into the sky. Snufkin and you moved in a comfortable, free silence. It was going wonderfully.

You knew your bodies would catch up with you, and exhaustion would claim you. For now, the swamp behind town would be safe enough. 

You looked at the grime presently stuck to your body, toes dipped in the calm waters of the pond you had watched flood and dry, ebb and flow, all of your life. "Snufkin, do you have any soap?" 

He laughed, clambering down from the tree he rest upon headfirst. Oh so very catlike.

"Even if I had my bag on me, I doubt there would be any soap in there. I only carry the essentials." You frowned. _Soap was a fucking essential!_

You stood. "Well then my hands will do. I need a serious washing. You stay here so I don't lose you." And with that, you were off down a stream pooling into the lake. You found a crag of stones creating a small waterfall and stripped next to it, humming. The water was ice cold, satisfyingly so. Every time you used your fire like that, you got awful hot flashes after. You stood in the waterfall, rinsing your head first. Cold slime stroked your toes from algae, and you felt calmed. Everything would be okay. Snufkin wasn't horrified of you, summer was coming, and soon you would be off to get away from Boss again. What a fucking game of cat and mouse.

You sat in the water, back to the flow. Boots crunched behind you.

Looking over your shoulder, you confirmed it was no more than your green clad friend. "Snufkin!" You smiled.

"Jor. Where must we sleep tonight?" you hummed, wringing out your hair.

"There are good, hallowed out trees in here. It's a great spot, if you don't mind sharing the same air."

"Oh no, I don't think I will." Snufkin hummed, sitting on the grass by the shore. You talked for a while, at ease, before you decided to get out. Water trickled down your body. You felt a light chill, but it wasn't anything to mind. The swamp always got humid in the evenings. Snufkin reached out and touched your ankle.

"Where did you get these?"

You looked down, cloak in your arms. "Chains. They were too tight." Snufkin frowned sadly, stroking one of the long, old abrasions. You smiled and sat next to him, your coat in your arms. His hand trailed up lightly to your arm. 

"And these?"

"Angry wereclaws." He hummed. His fingers moved along, stroking most of the scars along your back. Not even looking, just touching, asking a silent question. You answered freely. You had no more secrets. Night fell upon you both.

"I think, Jor, that it is time for us to sleep." you nodded and stood, slipping into your cloak. The two of you walked, silent in the woods, until you found a satisfactory tree to hide in. Snufkin pulled leaves in, cushioning the base, and crawled in. You followed him significantly less gracefully, slipping into the wood. The cavern barely fit you both, and you softened your body into the one that wrapped around yours, a clawed hand on your stomach and an arm under your head. He was warm and safe. This was the nicest you'd ever felt in your life. So nice, you couldn't sleep. After all, who knew when you would have to go back home again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe nakey  
> Idk if this is even an x reader anymore man lmao  
> but hey I'm having a good time so ^^"


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